Originally Posted by Cognisant
Well c'mon then someone else take the stand, you all seem content to sit around and titter condescendingly at me behind your hands but you can only do so because I spoke my mind, shared my feelings and thus made myself vulnerable.
Can any of you do the same?
Well it's unusual for you to strip your Necrodermis off. Okay, I'll let's see what I can add to the table
View on Girls:
viewed girls as sex trophies before and that they only want rich, physically attractive and socially confident guys. I did try to be that guy but soon that goal vanished and I just enjoyed developing myself for just developing myself. Life is still hard but having control of my life feels liberating. Of course having a relationship would be nice but I'm really enjoying what I'm doing with my life.
There's also an odd change about my view as well. While I still like physical appearances, I now also consider their mental health, life goals and belief systems being aligned to my own.
Looking back, I've found that some of the girls I liked actually have deep-seated issues and it was best for me not to have a relationship with them. Besides, I'll make a poor therapist anyways so they're better off as well.
I say courtship because we don't have a native word for dating. I've researched all about dating and frankly I think this Western strategy is the better relationship model for INTP's. But I live here so I guess I'll have to make courtship work.
I've found out that if you want to court a girl then you need to court their family members and friends as well. I think you'll need allies to get into a relationship with a girl. You can't do it alone. They may offer you useful tips, especially my married male friends or "brothers", and might even speak favorably to the girl on your behalf.
Oh yeah, I think they don't like friendship first then confess love later. They feel betrayed when you do. This is also why I'm now preventing myself on my "sisters" (close girl friends) <I've talked myself out of courting the INTJ girl I posted before BTW>.
I guess it's best to tell them upfront on what you want.
I still act like a petulant child whenever I get rejected. Come on, that stings! However, my reactions get less and less dramatic as the years go by.
Coming from a calmer and more rational mindset, I think most of the rejections weren't because of me but because of their life goals. Some are simply immature and are as clueless or scared as I was. Some are more mature but are pursuing higher education or working experience (like a Doctor that I confessed to) and don't have the time and resources to engage in a relationship.
Oh BTW, I'm going to ask another girl this Sunday for a stab at courtship. Wish (or pray) me luck!