Originally Posted by zerkalo
i can feel myself degenerate with every passing year because of my lethargy
i do get some bouts of motivation every now and then but they always seem to dematerialize too soon. i know i am mostly worthless, but its so hard to accept it. to accept my mediocrity.
this may be grim, but i think some people are born with self discipline, and some simply arent. and theres nothing i can do about this. i have tried countless times since childhood to combat the lethargy, tried to talk myself into believing my efforts are fruitful and meaningful but its no use, all the while i could see almost everyone else breeze through what i struggle to finish or start. this has always been the case for me, for as long as i can remember. i dont really know what my problem is...i just know that ive been fighting apathy since forever, that im only alive through the effort of others, and that im waiting for my life to wrap up in some kind of meaningful resolve *shrugs*
I disagree with the notion that discipline cannot be learned. If you'd asked me prior to about 8-12 months ago, I'd totally agree. However, having spent the last 2 years trying as hard as I could to pull myself out of the all familiar lethargy of which you speak, I've learnt some things I believe are of some value:
1. Working hard is not enough, and is not necessarily discipline.
2. Comparing yourself to others is one of the worst ways to try and develop discipline.
3. Not everyone was taught from a young age to have discipline, but it's attainable.
4. Challenges to developing discipline (at least in my experience) boil down to a lack of understanding and/or confidence and/or accountability*
*accountability may be the key here.
I absolutely struggled to develop discipline in an academic context, and upon reflection, the reason lay mostly in my natural ability to achieve top grades with the absolute minimum amount of effort. That, combined with never having anyone disappointed in me (first in family to get a higher education), was a pretty terrible starting point to develop discipline.
Fast forward to working professionally post-university and I found myself in an entirely opposite scenario where I was accountable for everything I did and there were real consequences to my actions. It didn't take long for my wake up call to come a couple of months into my first post-grad job from where I was fired. Oops. That's about when the idea that I was accountable for my actions sank in. I couldn't just glide by anymore.
So that led to a bunch of discoveries and was when I really started to understand how to attain discipline. It's something that I still work at every day, as. I absorb loads of books, podcasts, articles, etc on the topic. Things have taken off since accepting that I'm accountable for my actions and in the last year alone, I've 10x'd my productivity in my work and home lives. I do believe now that discipline is certainly attainable, but the conditions need to be right in order to trigger the internal necessity.
I'd like to say more, but I'm not sure where to start. Plus, it's past my bedtime. If anyone is interested in anything I've mentioned, let me know and I'll happily elaborate.