A few interesting posts on there (unfortunately most of it is spam):
I could never knowingly date a woman who was not a virgin. I find them disgusting. I don't find married women or women who have boyfriends disgusting because I don't think about them that way, but when it's time to actually date someone, I would never be with a woman if she was not a virgin.
Years ago when I first started analyzing this I thought it was only the "slutty" women I didn't like, but no, it's the sex act itself. That someone else has been inside my girlfriend or wife... I don't understand how anyone can live with that thought. I see an extremely vivid image of that happening in my mind and I feel such disgust I can't live with it.
I'm not religious and I have no moral objection to any of this stuff. I simply find it disgusting. I just don't want to believe that no women that I (initially) like are romantic or strong-willed enough to wait for the right man.
This way of thinking seems very rare in Western countries. Some may say they prefer a virgin, but are too realistic to completely shut non-virgins out of their dating life. So, any thoughts? Do you know anyone like me? Have you ever met a woman who thinks this way? I sure haven't.
Yeah, I know what you mean, the only way I've ever been able to acceptably know a woman (old testament style) who'd been with another guy is to be drunk, otherwise it feels too much like she's been suffused with the guy(s) she's been with, especially their sexual aspects (ghost balls, his residual ghost dong and balls are there). I believe what we feel can be described as not wanting to have sex with another dude i.e. that's what it feels like e.g. it is naturally for us like the concept they reinforce (I specified reinforce because the feeling is already somewhat there) in Sex-Ed when they say that when you are having sex with someone you're having sex with everyone they've ever had sex with, and you want to become one with the girl but that's not going to work out because you're relationship isn't very special anyway. Plus there's the concept that you're just another guy to her and look what happened to the last one she was with, in which case almost obviously sex isn't that bonding or meaningful to her i.e. she probably doesn't think of it that deeply or maybe she does and so she experienced this type of pairing with some other guy already, which too devalues it. I'm not spiritual but another way to describe it is that because of the spiritual (figurative) connectivity they shared, a bit of his very soul is being transferred to you through her psyche/soul i.e. that her mind having been united with another male already through the vicarious / empathetic act of amorous sex is now that male. The thought that there could be another guys semen in or on her or penis residue (other guys seem very dirty), the fact that you're rubbing your genitalia where another male was doing so (especially if he was a masculine guy as oppose to an androgynous or feminine one) and you're suppose to be deriving pleasure from doing that etc it all just makes it feel really gross in a gay sex with another dude sort of a way. Oh and STDs and man sweat. I guess I'd say, if you want to have sex or if you feel obligated to, just give up searching for the one and get drunk so you can give it to her, otherwise the thought of kissing her mouth that has probably had another guys cock and semen in it is going to keep creeping you out to the point where you may feel like you're going to vomit. There aren't any girls waiting for true love, most of them seem to like the guys who don't feel any connection to them ad cheat on them or whatever, and if they do feel something more profound about it, they've probably already had that um connection with another male anyway, so you might as well just give up. . .unless you're interested in going to a particular very strict church type place where you can meet girls who are only waiting for a guy for the sake of sucking up to their imaginary friend rather than for a more profound reason i.e.. The other ones are more into the same concept of sex that male stereotypes are i.e. where they do not particularly care about their sex partner, it is weird and seems grotesque that that is generally everyone else's perspective on sex, so it is disheartening but eh whatever, I'd rather they fuck the way they want than to hide their sexuality, the ones who think of sex in the way most people do would probably cheat on you on a whim and think oh it's no big deal and the next thing you know, you've got AIDS, if you care, I barely care now, nothing matters, diseases like AIDS generally act as natural selectors for irresponsible people with bad judgement of character, it is good that they do it in a slutty way. I don't know how you'd go about find the women we prefer but eh maybe I'm wrong and you'll find one to have romantic sex with.
Why do I feel this way? Well I only date to marry and to be with her for the rest of my life. I've always just thought I'd marry a virgin. It's the classic, romantic thing to do: You find someone, you commit to them and you spend the rest of your life together. Nowhere in that idea does it say it happens after she goes through some other guys first. Then she doesn't really share her life with me, she shares what's left of it after sharing it with other men. I think something like this is behind it and it manifests itself rather concretely in the images that pop in my head. Basically I see sex as the ultimate thing you can do in a relationship; it defines how close you are. In a way I'd be more comfortable dating a pornstar who has never had any real relationships; then I'd know sex to her doesn't mean anything.
God forbid things go haywire with your future wife and you end up separating. What do you do then? Search for another virgin? Or are you more open then?
I see three possibilities, in the order of likeliness: 1) I'd kill myself or live the rest of my life alone. 2) I'd be more open. 3) I'd find another virgin.
So I don't know. Losing my virginity wouldn't be the only thing on my mind at that point, as I would've given her everything I am, not just my virginity. It also matters if we only had sex once or twice, as opposed to being together 10 years or something. In the latter situation I might be more used to sex and wouldn't overthink it the way I do now. But who knows...