I introverted think. Therefore, I am.
Join Date: Nov 2016
Location: United Kingdon
Re: Guys, how to know for sure if a (female) INFJ is interested ?
I don't know if my experience with an INFJ female is completely relevant as we were much younger, plus she was actually psychotic as well.
On our first meeting; I had had a skin full at the bar she was working at and as far as I knew she was seeing my best mare at the time. In retrospect, it might have have been a bit of dick move, but I only intended to be nice. I ordered my drink from her, and said, "wow, he certainly wasn't lying. You are gorgeous." (What I didn't know at the time was that at that very moment in time she was having an auditory hallucination that was commanding the words, "he's the one. Trust in him, he's the one.")
As it happened, she wasn't seeing my best mate per sey. but I didn't know that. Now, this was a bar I had worked at until the start of my final year of Uni, and had given up working to concentrate. But I was skint, so I'd already asked to go back. To which they agreed. So there I was, stuck behind the bar with the girl I believed was my mates girlfriend and who was having hallucinations telling her she must make a lifetime companion of me at all costs (which again I didn't realise were getting worse.)
I've read that with INFJ's, people have a tendency to want to spill their woes to them for counselling. And this girl was no exception to that - leave her alone with someone for five minutes and they'd be crying their darkest problems to her. Which she didn't like as it was apparently very draining, but couldn't quite turn them away. Except for me - I don't do that. (She still maintains that this fact, that I don't whinge about feelings like other people do, is what made her feel comfortable around me. I wasn't draining like other people.) So instead, she seemed to do the same to me. Gave me her life story, all her woes and all the crap that had ever happened to her. And I may be a bit of social retard, but I'm good at listening. And it's hardly the first time that had happened - I had a habit of making friends with girls and let them spill it while they worked it out.
This one, though, was also interested in hearing about me. Which was unusual in itself - no one ever cared before. She wanted to hear my nerdiest philosophical crap, which was quite exciting for me to spill. And eventually, I did respond and give her my life story - probably the first person to hear it, and that was more given for reciprocation that anything else.
And there was also a moment when I fell for her as well. When my mate gotten back in to town, we'd gotten him drunk enough that he was ejected from the premises and we had to carry him home. In revenge one night, he and the bartender conspired to drop shots into my drinks. Which, as I was already pretty drunk, I didn't notice. Then the extras hit me and I was chucking up in the toilets. Dragged out by the bouncers and just left outside. Girl had known about this, but Mate refused to carry me home even though it was his fault. She, on the other hand, left the club with me. So I'm slowly sobering up with my head in her chest and feeling very comfortable now. And thinking to myself, "No! Don't you dare fall in love! Don't! Off limits!" She told me she completely lost interest in him after that.
By now, it was obvious that at least were we close friends. My mate was starting to get very irritable and occasionally violent to me and anyone who talked to her - particularly as she hadn't slept with him or even kissed him again for some time. That's as far as they'd ever gone and he did confirm this was true.
She later confessed she'd been dropping every hint she could give. Complements, looks, touches, she'd drape a mini-skirt clad leg over me when we were sat down, she even lunged over a table and started snogging me one time. But me having self confidence that's probably in the minus figures I assumed she must have been drunk. She just wanted to be friends - no one looks at me that way. They just don't. Eventually, a mutual friend told me to just do it.
My bigger problem, as it turned out, was that the voices were now telling her that now she had gotten me, the only way she could guarantee I'd never leave is if she sabotaged the contraception. And that the voices were getting stronger and would not always be so positive about me. But that's another story.
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