Originally Posted by Blarraun
What about emotional abuse? Seems to me like the restricting of the scope of the problem to just physical aggression will have men rise to the surface as the expected brutes.
Another issue is how people respond to sources of violence/abuse. Do they repeat/pass on the pattern? How do they cope? Are they dependent on the abuser?
Originally Posted by Blarraun
I don't think I can define it in a useful or short way, instead I expect it's something everyone understands via experience and common sense.
- a wife making derisive comments about husband's low status/low income which leads to tension/stress.
- One partner exploiting the other's financial support forcing the caregiver to provide more than necessary by spending irresponsibly.
- One partner provoking the other to actual violence with words / emotive influence (and later using it during arguments and painting themselves as the victim to enforce a degree of control).
- Creating unreasonable expectations for the other partner, creating a stressful environment in general. Dishonesty, manipulation, shaming, guilt-tripping, social pressure susceptibility, etc.
In my parents' home it was actually my mother who was physically abusive, psychological abuse was about equal I'd say, both parents were financially independent and she could've stopped the personal hell they were getting into at any point, but instead chose to stick with my father out of love and self-sacrifice as she calls it. Having 3 kids didn't help the situation either, though this 'happy accident' I'd blame on poor contraception awareness of the post-communist era and external pressure.
There is a pattern of dominant or emotionally unstable females and withdrawn males in my family and I've seen lots of 3 and 4. Just to mention a couple:
I don't know what my grandparents ever saw in each other but they haven't gotten along for all I remember. While my grandpa had a natural calm and focused demeanor, my grandma would just explode on him for the smallest things and he'd just take it because she couldn't be reasoned with. I still have a childhood memory of her stabbing him with a fork and one of her shooting off her pistol. Eventually he said fuck it, and just moved into the garage instead of getting a divorce and leaving. She calmed down noticeably after that but it didn't change the way she acted toward everyone else and 20 years later she's only gotten worse..
My 2nd oldest cousin has a kid with his ex-girlfriend, and she initiated a breakup to be with someone else after several years of my cousin being a loving father to both his own daughter and another man's. She makes it extremely hard for him to see his kid and he even went to her with a custody plan. When they were still together she'd always treat his (darker skinned) daughter worse like not buying her new clothes or not doing her hair. This same woman came into my house with some sales rep I've never met to try and sell my sister into a pyramid scheme which just shows how inane or shameless she is.
In my own words and from my personal experience, I'd say domestic gender violence against men is very different from the domestic violence against women and may go unnoticed if the guy is prone to retaliation because then you just ignore the cause and charge the male with battery after he flips and lashes out. It doesn't help that society prohibits males from expressing their emotions and being anything other than tough and successful.
I don't believe women are the enemy of men. I believe other men are the enemy of men, and that other women are the enemy of women. Other men are the most prominent source of gender discrimination and emasculation. It starts at home with the father being intolerant of his son's "deviance", and at school with a social hierarchy in the earliest grades, then as you get older the media and society conditions boys
to believe a man must have the most attractive wome
n(yes, plural), the highest paying job, a flawless chiseled body over 6' yet makeup is gay, callous enough to insult and take advantage of others to get ahead in every opportunity, unfeeling at all times, and no need for any kind of support.
The proof is when you see guys being dismissive of males who bring it up, and it makes no sense why they would be against feminism because all males benefit from it. Redpillers complain about men's position in society but choose to attack women instead of addressing that males perpetuate the hyper-masculinity that makes them have to compete so desperately.