I am fearfull
my mom is indifferent
my sister is anxious
my brother is demanding
I'm sad my mom does not show me love and I am afraid to ask it of others. I am going to be one of those people who cry the first time they have sex. I am making sure it is a positive experience. I am relying...
I had a mother dragon protecting me. Flying in the room. I invented a new form I quantum physics that remembers the soul through transcription. I promised to give it all up that I would get it all back.
From one agent to another. I know I am.
I never came from anywhere I know of.
I know not where I go in the end of physical form.
I am told I lack free will but it is a contradiction.
How can I know that I am and at the same time believe I know not that I am.
Sometimes people do bad things and...
I have anxiety. Anxiety is a survival mechanism in the amygdala and the frontal lobes. I felt a burning sensation once in the right frontal lobes. Now I get a wandering sensation. I follow the sensation like a bumblebee. But I never reach it or captor it.
Anxiety arises from being unable to...
I am clear-minded at the moment. I have some view over things from it. I will be using a stream of consciousness to explain things.
I have an idea about smart machines. If I can find the right chunking mechanism it will work. That is my goal.
(chunking is how a network wires itself)
Life is not suffering. Suffering is a consequence of life. Life struggles to live. Life does not seek suffering for suffering's sake.
Life has a self which is the center of one's being. This center is the thalamus. The center spreads out containing the whole self. All struggle is in alliance...
To manipulate the world you must manipulate what is on the inside.
Manipulation is organizing an amount of information necessary.
Because organization can be done in many ways.
The more ways you can organize it the more creative you are.
Creativity is both working inside your head and the...
The worst mistake of Buddhism.
The I need not be material.
It is just an extension of awareness of the self.
There may be a feeling of selflessness.
But it only lasts so-so long, an eternity of no-self.
But it returns because even eternity is temporary.
There is a lot of abnormality in society called normal.
The real problem is that you can't be yourself without validation so you can realize the weird side of yourself is something we all have.
I am no longer embarrassed about myself as much as I used to be. I had my fragile moments but I...
I just do not socialize. (no friends)
I went into the pit of despair after graduating highschool.
I am 32 / male, looking for a girlfriend.
I am more interested in ideas where the irrelevant parts are taken out. (no fluff)
I have crazy ideas that I keep in blogs.
I am sort of a technoshaman...
I do not think I have a goal in life that drives me. I cannot center my day around something if there is no purpose. I have centered my life around big goals before. But at times there was just nothing. My life meant nothing. I had no friends, I wasn't good at anything, I failed just way too...
My people awareness is not that high. (ASD)
I already said I may have a learning disability.
Some people reach a certain development sage and remain there.
16 at 32 | 16/32 = 0.5
by age 40 I will have the mind of a 20-year-old.
age personality maturity social intelligence, mental...
It's an analogy (my leg length is normal)
Tall leg, short leg (definitely not going to be a sprinter.)
High IQ, Low IQ :
I read a long time ago a difference in IQ can be a learning disability.
I am fine with having a disability because I can work around it but only if I grip...
I am not so low that I am weak on any tests.
What my problem is, is that I am imbalanced.
Imagine being really tall on one side of your body and really short on the other side.
Animekitties short side:
Animekitty's ability to sustain attention, concentrate, and exert mental control are...
I have a diagnosis of schizoaffective, bipolar being inside that.
Meds I am currently taken.
It can treat schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and irritability caused by autism.
Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI)
It can treat...
By global metric, I simply meant the way in which you generalize / chunk items in parallel. Is there an algorithm for combining the chunks or in the way in which they are ordered. I can only hold 2 items in my head at once so I think in linear terms. I do not know personally what it means to...
I have manic depressive bipolar.
At times my energy levels are really high.
And at times my energy is really low. (I stay in bed allot)
I only sleep when I need to, not based on a schedule.
I only stay up because I feel I cannot sleep.
General anxiety changes these patterns.
What if time travel was invented by a person who wanted to alter the circumstances of their birth to be their preferred gender only to realize. To realize that in choosing their gender at birth they no longer wished to be the opposite gender and thus had no reason to invent time travel. There...
I am still a virgin. I am male.
I worry I will always be one.
but I do not let it define me. (virginity)
masturbation is fun but I only want one to be with.
not specific but for each other. (someone)
I am sorry about your genetic defect. :(
Think most you need a friend.
Yes, it is support needed. Getting unstuck.
I feel sad. But not alone. I have support.
I have support from many people.
Do not worry, just remember to seek empathy.
You are important to many.
But understanding requires time.
I will come to Israel but it will take time.
I have doctors hear, therapists, friends, family.
All I need is to make things go well.
Financially speaking I need to get things in order.
Arab League rejects Trump's Israeli-Palestinian peace plan...
To keep with the thread topic these are some of my fears:
The house will burn down (first time I had this bad thought)
I live in the matrix
I will go to hell
I am the only person in existence
I will never find love
The big events happen like this:
I stay up for more than 3...
I was afraid my house would burn down. I tried to fix the problems. Was taking everything apart. (everything in my house not the heater, I was fvking scared it would ignite, sounds and everything) Yelled at my therapist. Was in the mental hospital for over 30 days.
I had so many horrible...
Several things could be going on. I will list them.
uncontrolled imagination (daydream)
lucid dreaming (conscious dreaming)
controlled hallucination (overlay onto reality)
Events in my mental illness.
December 20, 2015 (saw a vision of a rainbow angel after confronting demon-like music)
June 3, 2016 (the room cracked in two - I saw the old spice commercial man on my computer - I saw the wienermobile fall apart on my computer) note the hallucinations were on but...
I am a small individualized unit of consciousness. I believe there is nothing but consciousness - turtles all the way down. God is at the top and I am where I am. I am unaware of my cell let alone my atoms. I am a small filament. God is at every level, I can interact with only a finite set of...