I put on my wizard hat

[Oblivious]

There was once I was accosted by a spastic kid on the MRT. Stands for Mass Rapid Transit. It's what Singaporeans like to call their subway.

Yes, a real spastic kid or a really talented aspiring comedian. He was all giggly and was drooling, and I had no idea why I was singled out to be the target of his rather troublesome attention.

Other than the fact that I was wearing a pointy wizard's hat. It was black, slightly crumpled and had shiny silver string knitted into it. It was also Halloween. It did not stop people staring at me like I was the spastic kid though. Damn ignorant Singaporeans.

So there I was, in the centre of the carriage fending off a rather persistent and amused spastic kid. Wearing a pointy wizard's hat. The people on the MRT did not bother helping; they just looked on in mild amusement. They were probably wondering who was more insane, the spastic kid or the admittedly handsome young man wearing the wizard's hat in his street clothes in public.

I think at one point the spastic kid managed to deprive me of my hat and would not give it back. That pretty much meant war, but I was not about to beat up a spastic kid, so utilising my knowledge of child psychology, I counter stole his school pack.

Spastic kid was unsure now. I had his pack, and he knew I wanted my hat, which created a dichotomy in his motivation to deprive me of it. Seizing my chance, I grabbed my hat back and threw his pack into a corner.

He went running to retrieve it, but he was soon back and trying to grab my hat again. I succeeded in keeping him away, keeping my precious pointy hat to my back. Soon, his stop arrived, and smiling at me as if we both had a lot of fun together, he left. At least one of us enjoyed that.

My hat was rather crumpled by now. All the same. I had actually crumpled it myself when I bought it to make it look more, I dunno, wizardy?

Anyway, my ordeal was over. Tutting in disapproval, I dusted myself off before replacing my pointy, silver laced wizard's hat upon my head with a flourish... much to the amusement of certain onlookers. Man can't have an ego these days can he?

 

[Alice?]

Spoiler

 

[Oblivious]

I am quite normal thank you very much.

 

[Fukyo]

This made me laugh. I love you ob and alice <3

 

[Inappropriate Behavior]

How come "lightning bolt lightning bolt lightning bolt" wasn't an option?

YouTube- Lightning Bolt!

That's what you shoulda done.

 

[Oblivious]

That looks strangely like a porn I've seen before.

 

[Minuend]

It's like they videotaped the Arena

 

[SpaceYeti]

...You know, I play Dungeons and Dragons, I've had a love/hate relationship with WoW, and my friends and I fight with foam swords (and got pretty good at it)... but those guys are losers.

LARPers... the nerd's nerds.

 

[Cavallier]

^I sleep better at night knowing you are here to valiantly maintain the social defamation of all nerds everywhere.

Now when customers bug me at work I want to throw stones at them and shout "lightening bolt".

 

[Chimera]

NERDS, WHERE.

&Cavallier: Only...stones? You couldn't make do with something bigger, maybe pointier, possibly coated in acid?

&Ob: This is the hazard of using public transportation.
Although, if I saw someone sitting calmly with a wizard hat on, I might walk up and shake their hand and walk away.
​

 

[snafupants]

Admittedly handsome young man, what lesson did you learn through this tragicomedy?

 

[DarkGreen]

This is what REALLY happened to Ob.

 

[s0nystyle]

NERDS, WHERE.

&Cavallier: Only...stones? You couldn't make do with something bigger, maybe pointier, possibly coated in acid?

&Ob: This is the hazard of using public transportation.
Although, if I saw someone sitting calmly with a wizard hat on, I might walk up and shake their hand and walk away.
​

@chimera: Are you perhaps suggesting we use hydralisk spines? :X

@OP: I wuv u obliv clearly negotiation is not an option when dealing with terrorists like little kids >

 

[DarkGreen]

Or this could've happened.

 

[DarkGreen]

Or even this.

 

[Lostwitheal]

And here was me thinking I was about to find this being posted.

 

[Cognisant]

In the dark distant radioactive future, where the ammo is all spent and the knowledge to make it forgotten, the LARPers will rule over us all, except for the magic users, they'll still be losers.

 

[Chimera]

S0ny: Damn, I didn't even think of that
Yes. That's exactly what I was going for.

&Cog:
Oh, thank god, after the apocalypse we'll be saved by ninnies armed with painted sticks.
Of course, we could always put on dragon costumes and mob them, just for giggles.
​

 

[Oblivious]

NERDS, WHERE.

&Cavallier: Only...stones? You couldn't make do with something bigger, maybe pointier, possibly coated in acid?

&Ob: This is the hazard of using public transportation.
Although, if I saw someone sitting calmly with a wizard hat on, I might walk up and shake their hand and walk away.
​

Public transportation is necessary for handsome yet poor young men like me.

Oh, and I could not risk using lightning bolt and other more powerful spells in my arsenal like Summon: Fucking Bahamut since though that would wipe out spastic kid in one shot, it would cause much bystander injury in the cramped MRT carriage. I tend to flail around a lot while casting it to simulate the massive area effect damage.

Admittedly handsome young man, what lesson did you learn through this tragicomedy?

We should not persecute handsome people just because they are wearing wizard hats.

We could however, persecute those wearing headcrab hats for being more awesome.

@OP: I wuv u obliv clearly negotiation is not an option when dealing with terrorists like little kids >

Kid never knew what hit em. It was the only expected outcome when you pit a mere child against an experienced wielder of the magical arcane arts of child psychology and specialised flailing.

 

[Firehazard159]

And here was me thinking I was about to find this being posted.

That's what I wanted, but reading Ob's post made me <3 (ir)regardless. (lol, inside joke from earlier days-ish)

 

[echoplex]

*joins the <3 fest*

and of course you put the hat back on! You'd be crazy not to, 'cause you're a goddamn wizard and some kid is not about to change that.

 

[EyeSeeCold]

Argh, finally I found the picture I wanted to post in here, but now it's too late...

Spoiler

 

[Farion]

And here was me thinking I was about to find this being posted.

^^^
I was going to actually respond to the OP, but that is the funniest thing I have ever read. Ever. Period. EVER.



Oh, and I agree that lightning bolt should have been a response to the poll