Active Listening and MBTI typing

[Enne]

I was just at a talk that dealt (partially) with active listening as a tool for conflict resolution. The speaker emphasized some innate ability for it as an introverted trait, as extroverts would be more inclined to externally assert their personality / thoughts / opinions, etc. But it also occurred to me that it might also be easier for perceivers (vs. judging types) to use active listening, since Js would be more inclined to form opinions quickly as opposed to gathering as much information as possible until the last possible moment. Case in point, one of my friends is an INTJ, and conversations with her are typically challenging since she tends to dismiss (not address) anything that is not related to her fields of expertise / interest, or come to false conclusions based on something I've said quite frequently.

So how about it? Do you find it easier to get your point across on a clean a slate as perceptively possible with introverts over extroverts? Or with perceivers over judgers? Do you think having the ability to listen, as in truly listen without thinking of what you'll say to counter the person's expression is independent of type / personality?

[Reverse Transcriptase]

One of the first things I learned at my college Unitarian Universalist group is how to listen. Most of already knew, but it was something that our Reverend emphasized. (She's a well-developed ENFP.) She told us not to prepare your retorts/arguments while someone else is talking. We should just listen, let the other people's words fill our mind. Even though I'm I & P, I hadn't been doing that as much as I should have. It was really valuable.

I have a terrible time getting points across on my INFJ mother. My INTJ brother will atleast out-logic me, and since he respects me he'll listen to my ideas too. I think that J/P would be a bigger difference in this than I/E. ExxPs might be more drawn into someone who is talking (once you can get your words in). They'd be a cleaner slate.

But from my own experience, I also think that it is something than can pretty easily be taught/developed in people of all types. ( <---- Am I hopelessly optimistic for the ESTJs?)

[Aiss]

I think it's a P-dependent characteristic, since P implies extroverted perceiving as one of the two main functions (primary axis). It fits with NPs I know being most likely to listen to what I actually say, rather than what they wish to hear. Anyway, NP means Ne, and Ne is good as brainstorming, which would make it the "listening to ideas" function.

I think N might be of secondary importance here - it's easier to get ENTJ to listen than ESFJ (and both are much easier still than ISTJs... *shudders*). This might be as Ns are generally more willing to learn though. So NP > SP > NJ > SJ, when it comes to listening.